


Dream of Daring

by gabe_geary



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Rebellion, Wizarding Wars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 12:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabe_geary/pseuds/gabe_geary
Summary: Roxanne Malfoy is starting her sixth year at Hogwarts, facing her parents' disapproval, her brother's marriage, life decisions and a secret life as a blood-traitor. It won't be until she makes an ally of her sworn enemy, Sirius Black, that she embraces her true identity and all the problems that come with it.Roxanne belongs to the AMAZING Viria, but the rest of them belong to JK Rowling or are created especially for this fic.





	1. The Wayward Daughter

             At the beginning of her sixth year at Hogwarts, Roxanne Malfoy already started to think of what would she do once she graduated. The previous year, she had taken her O.W.L s with satisfactory results, at least for what she had initially expected. She got outstanding grades in Potions, Transfiguration, History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, and Charms; and exceeded expectations in Herbology, Ancient Runes, Astronomy, Divination, and Arithmacy. However, her Muggle Studies grade was only acceptable. Once her parents received the notifications of her grades, she fought against the feeling that all effort had been for nothing.

Her father had looked at her with the usual frown in his face. As he observed the parchment with her grades on and her mother observed him, Roxanne looked away from them, feeling very uncomfortable as they measured her and her intelligence. Her father was the perfect image of what the wizard pureblood society expected every man to be. As a Malfoy, one of the most ancient magical family names, his hair was blond, almost white, and his skin was very pale. His almost black eyes portrayed him as a very strict man, which matched perfectly with his personality. Her mother was very much like him on the outside, except for her blue eyes, which seemed to be constantly eradiating sadness.

 

            Only to make the situation less awkward, she entertained herself looking at the family paintings in the manor’s walls. Her eyes focused on a very recent painting of her brother with her. Lucius was very much like their father, needless to say this made Abraxas very proud. He had the same poisonous eyes and superior posture, but there was something in the painting that made him very different, and probably his sister was the only one who noticed it. He was a younger image of his father, except when he was with Roxanne. He would show his superiority and power to anyone with his mere presence, but with his little sister, he was kind and helpful. That was very clear in the painting. Both of them had been portrayed standing and almost facing each other. She remembered the day of the portrait very clearly. Initially, both of them were very serious, as it was required.

“Hey, Lucius” Roxanne had whispered, barely moving a muscle while the artist focused on giving her hand resting on her brother’s arm a very delicate shape.

“What is it, Roxanne?” He asked copying her attempt to stay without moving.

“Do you want to hear a joke?”

“If you even dare to distract me, I will hex you into a house elven and give you to aunt Genevieve as a Christmas present”

“Oh, I would never be able to distract you. You are too powerful and strong, while I’m just a fragile and innocent flower” she said sarcastically, which earned her a disapproving look from the painter, accompanied with a low growl.

Lucius hid his smile best as he could “Yes, you are right. How could such an annoying flower even manage to make me laugh”

“It could be because my jokes are the funniest thing you’ve ever heard. But, of course, if you doubt your precious self-control because of a simple joke, I will not say it”

“I’m not falling for that again” Roxanne and Lucius didn’t have a single portrait together in the entire house, obviously because Roux always managed to ruin them with her jokes or commentaries.

Roxanne just kept talking “Oh my, what a shameful truth. The magnificent Lucius Malfoy looses his composure in front of a tiny joke. I must say all the ladies will be severely disappointed”

“Should I remind you of the main characteristic of magic portraits?”

“You mean the fact that only pompous asses require them instead of using a simple camera”

“I am going to ignore that. Is that they imitate a wizard’s demeanor. I will not be immortalized as a laughing portrait. And besides, didn’t mother threaten you already if you ruined one more portrait?”

“Who the hell uses the word _immortalized_ ” laughed Roxanne, getting a new scowl from the painter “And yes, she did. But I’m not ruining the portrait. I’m improving it”

She leaned closer towards him “What do you call two Quidditch players who share a dorm?”

“Oh Merlin, I really don’t want to know”

 “Broom-mates” Lucius’s face twitched slightly “C’mon, you know you want to laugh”

“Very well” said the painter “Remain still for the last enchantment” As the painter began to take his wand out for the enchantment that would make the painting move, Lucius looked over at Roxanne

“It was not funny. You lose”

“Oh, Lucius” she said putting her arm around his waist “Don’t you know it? You always lose against me”

The painter was finishing the enchantment when Roxanne took her last chance to make the portrait a little less Malfoy. She rested her head upon Lucius’s shoulder and looked at him.

“I love you, brother”

Lucius barely moved his head, just enough for her to see the smallest hint of a smile. For Roxanne that was enough.

            Now, as she stood in front of her parents, the Lucius in the portrait gave her a reassuring smile as her own portrayal hugged him with one arm and gave her a small nod. The portrait would only behave like that in front of the two siblings. Somehow, the magic in it recognized their pretty unique relationship and only expressed it in front of people who knew of it, momentarily being only the two of them.

 

Roxanne was only two years younger than him, but she always saw him as his true father, while all the impostor did was observe her grades and plan to offer her in marriage from the moment of her birth.

That was the reason for the tension between them, which led to many discussions, but never to a real fight. Roxanne liked to think it was because she respected him, not because she was afraid of what would happen if a fight finally took place. She was stubborn and independent at school, but her family’s efforts to make her feel like a weak girl got to her sometimes, and at those times, she felt her only future was found in marriage.

“I don’t understand your necessity of two more years at that excuse of a school” Her father had said. “You have already demonstrated that you are capable of thinking. Certainly that will help when we look for a husband for you”

“Do we really have to do this?” Roxanne complained, exasperated. Exhausted of this constant fight. “Mother, Father, I have given you more than enough reasons why finishing my studies is a wise decision”

She really had. Starting with the fact that she would reach her “maximum beauty” when she turned 18, which would give her the attention of other suitors, enabling her parents to choose from the best. Besides, the most powerful families had their heirs studying at Hogwarts, it would allow her to know everything about her groom-to-be. These were her strongest defense, but she couldn’t take all credit for them, her friends helped her to create those excuses when she ran out of prior ones.

“Abraxas, she is right” said her mother. The beautiful woman looked at her husband and pretended her daughter was not there. She had become really good at doing that “How would you feel if we married her in a rush and then suddenly a better suitor appeared?”

“You are right, my dearest Belinda” said Abraxas. God, how could her parents get along? They had nothing in common but their love for honor and mutual disappointment of their only daughter. At the end they agreed, and two weeks later, she was sitting alone in her train compartment, waiting for her friends to arrive. None of their parents had accompanied her and Lucius to the train station, they never did. After all, how could a Malfoy be under the same roof than the blood traitors and mud bloods that studied at Hogwarts? _Unacceptable,_ her father would say. If it wasn’t for her elaborated excuses, she would be studying at a school abroad. As for Lucius, his deal with his parents was a completely different arrangement.

 

She heard the sound of a hand trying to open her compartment’s door, followed by a hard-to-notice puffing sound, and then the student disappeared down the corridor. She had placed a protective charm on the door, so that only a few wizards could enter, the charm would disorientate those who wanted to go into her compartment without her invitation. Roxanne didn’t have problems relating with people, but it was already traditional to sit with her friends in this precise compartment ever since her third year. While she was waiting for her usual trip companions, she grabbed a piece of parchment and began to write:

            What to do with my life:

  * Housewife (like Mother) 
    * Pros: House ensured, wealth ensured, social position ensured, respected in community, keep in touch with Lucius
    * Cons: Need to marry a complete stranger, will be miserable for the rest of my life
  * Curse Breaker 
    * Pros: Travel the world, manage distance from husband, keep in touch with Lucius
    * Cons: I can’t work with goblins (they hate me), distance from children (?!?!), Arithmacy grade is not good enough
  * Bar Maid at Three Broomsticks 
    * Pros: Free Butterbeer, close to Hogwarts, meet fascinating people
    * Cons: I have not been studying this much to be a barmaid! (*sigh*)
  * Auror 
    * Pros: Fight dark wizards, be more than just a Malfoy, adventure, work with LEGENDARY Alastor Moody
    * Cons: Father will ban me and I will never see Lucius again



 

            Roxanne read her list a few more times to see if she could add something else (unfortunately, she couldn’t) when she heard a knock on her door and no spell taking place, she stood up and asked: “Through what?”

“Through the whirlwind which your eyes stir up inside me” A soft voice with small hints of laughter answered.

            Roxanne laughed as well before she replied “But now, in this blessed darkness, I feel I am speaking to you for the first time” She opened the door to find two smiling girls on the corridor. Roxanne was tackled when their excited hugs came to her at the same time. All three girls were laughing on the compartment floor and Roxanne couldn’t help some tears. She hadn’t been this happy since they left for vacations months ago.

“Very well, weirdoes! What is the point of placing protective charms if you’re going to leave the door open?” She said as she difficultly stood up and closed the door.

“C’mon, Rox” Lily said as she hugged her from the back. “Who can think of that on someone’s 17th birthday?”

            Roxanne turned around and hugged Lily with her eyes closed. When she opened them, she saw Alice with a black package on her hands. She knew they wouldn’t forget her birthday, and still she felt so warm inside when they remembered..

“Oh, Merlin! I’ve missed you so much” Said Roxanne as her hug included Alice as well and became tighter.

“Lily, my ribs. She’s breaking my ribs” Said Alice with a strangled voice. After that, she made a cracking sound and threw herself to the floor dramatically.

“Killed by a Malfoy, I should have known and listened to my parents”

Lily and Roxanne looked at each other in one of their silent conversations and threw themselves over Alice.

“No, no girls, stop that!” She screamed as she laughed because of the tickles “I’m not dead, please, no no, please. Roxanne, I swear I won’t give you your present!”

Simultaneously, they looked at the abandoned black box on the floor. Alice’s frog, Nathan, was on top of it.

“Well, if those screams didn’t scare the entire train, nothing will” said Lily with a sigh.

They allowed Alice to stand up and sat on the compartment cushions. Alice cleared her throat as she grabbed both the box and the pet.

“So, I suck at making speeches, but then, you don’t turn 17 every day do you” Alice gave the present to Roxanne and sat opposite to her “Happy birthday to the most unexpected friend I’ll ever have”

“And the most interesting one as well” said Lily as she placed an arm over Roxanne’s shoulders.

Roxanne laughed softly “Unexpected and interesting? You could just say weirdo and blood traitor to save some words”  

“Yeah” Alice said “But where would be the fun in that?”

“Today you’re interesting because is your birthday” said Lily “You can go back to being a blood traitor tomorrow”

“Sounds like a plan” said Roxanne as she began to open her present. She opened up the box wrapped in black paper and delicately drew out a polaroid camera.

Roxanne gasped “But…how did you know?”

“It was easy really. You used to take your camera everywhere since third year and it suddenly disappeared?” Said Lily, smiling at Alice “We figured something happened to it”

            Yeah. _Something._ When her mother found her camera while she inspected her bedroom looking for god knew what, she broke it in dozens of pieces before setting it on fire. And it wasn’t like that was the only punishment for Roxanne. The scarring from her back took weeks to heal, even with magical treatment from her brother.

“You have to stop making them angry. One of this days, father will be the one who holds the wand. Do everything you can to avoid that” She only looked at the floor and cried silently while Lucius kept working on her back.

“Thank you so much” she hugged Lily tightly, as she drew a hand to get Alice into the hug as well. They probably suspected the kind of things that happened at her house, so she wasn’t going to tell them something that would worry them even more.


	2. Friendship Codes

Alice frowned as she read the piece of parchment where Roxanne had written moments ago.

“I didn’t know you could get free butterbeer if you worked at the Three Broomsticks” Alice said, raising her eyes from the parchment.

Roxanne was making the last arrangements on her camera, holding the instructions between her teeth and her camera resting on her crossed legs. Roxanne looked up when Lily took the instructions paper from her mouth.

“Yeah, cool right?” she said as she took a bag of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavors Beans from her bag. She filled her mouth with a bunch of them, chewing and swallowing loudly, earning a disgusted look from Lily.

“Rox, what is the point of getting Every Flavors Beans if you are going to mix all of them?” Lily took the almost empty bag from Roxanne’s hand “It’s only been one hour since you bought them. You ate this much already?”

Roxanne grabbed her beans back and took a handful of them “Statistically, I should get at least one good flavor following this technique”

“Or you could just read the flavors list in the back of the bag. And the warning once you’re at it”

“And where would be the fun in that?” she spoke as she chewed, making Lily shudder

“Why do you have to be so gross?” Lily asked with a choked voice.

“Because one of us has to be, _Ms. Perfect_ ” She ate a particularly large amount of beans, sending a provoking glance towards Lily, who made a fake gag sound with exaggerated cringing “So, Alice. Free butterbeer” Roxanne swallowed her beans “I asked them last year. You get one free butterbeer for every fifty you sell if you work there. It’s supposed to be an encouragement”

Alice’s worried looks still didn’t go away. Lily rolled her eyes and took the parchment from her hand. Roxanne pulled her legs up to face her redhead friend and watch her reaction to it. Lily’s expression grew wearier as she read the list.

“Would your parents really force you to marry a stranger?” Lily asked as soon as she began to read.

“Pumpkin, if it was up to them, I would have married when I turned fifteen” she looked over at Alice with a smile “Thanks for the help with the excuses, by the way. They should get me to senior year with no problem”

“Anytime” Alice said, the worried wrinkles in her forehead finally disappearing “Even the maximum beauty one?” she asked in disbelief.

“Especially that one” Roxanne said, laughing and looking up to the ceiling. “We’re talking about my parents here”

“The one of _heirs in Slytherin_ came from Frank, though” Alice said laughing, absently caressing Nathan with one hand while holding him with the other. Her frog had been Frank’s gift for their first anniversary. Roxanne had never been a huge fan of frogs, they were always moving and were unnervingly moist, but at least she got used to Nathan after a year of having him close to her because Alice wouldn’t let him out of her sight.

“By the way, how’s Frank doing?” Roxanne asked as she gave some candy to her. Alice, of course, gave them to Nathan, knowing that he liked the beans. Alice’s smile began as a grin, then it spread all over her face, her cheeks blushing slightly.

“He’s fine. We went to this awesome _Genesis_ concert in London”

“What’s _Genesis_?” Roxanne asked frowning.

“Right, I forgot you speak pureblood” Alice said raising her pinky, looking casually at Lily, who was still focused on Roxanne’s list.

“Want to say that again, pixie puff?” If looks could kill, Roxanne would be dead by now. She liked to give people nicknames. _Pixie puff_ was Alice’s nickname since she cut her hair short. Needless to say that she hated it.

“Ok ok, truce” Alice said, raising her arms and showing her palms in a sign of it. “ _Genesis_ is a Muggle rock band. I have all their albums at home”

“Nice, show them to me when I go to your house” said Roxanne. Their level of confidence showed when each of them invited themselves to each other’s houses. That was at least Roxanne’s case. Inviting Alice to her parents’ manor would be awkward, inviting Lily would be a disaster, especially because their friendship was not really public, not even at Hogwarts.

“Sure” Alice smiled “You can go to my house for Christmas this year. My mom will need your help with the turkey”

Roxanne went to Alice’s house for Christmas sometimes. At the beginning, her parents had their doubts about their daughter befriending a Malfoy. It wasn’t until Roxanne helped Alana with the dinner that they began to get along.

“My mom is really excited about it this year” Alice told them, even if Roxanne was the only one listening. “She likes to have lots of people at home. Maybe it has something to do with her lack of siblings and close relatives”

“I highly doubt one more person will make a great difference” Roxanne said giggling, with the mental image of last year’s Christmas, when Alana freaked out over a slightly raw pumpkin pie. They ate it to crumbs anyway.

“Not just you, Rox. We’re inviting more people this year” Alice looked down at Nathan and caressed his head, purposely avoiding Roxanne’s eyes.

“Really? Who else is going?” there were still a few beans in the bag, so she threw them directly into her mouth.

“Frank” Alice looked at her and then bit her lip “And his parents”

“What?!” Roxanne shouted, coughing and almost choking with her beans. Only then Lily pulled her eyes from the parchment and hit her friend’s back, her eyes clearly saying _I told you._

“Sorry, what did you say?” she asked Alice after she offered some water from her bag to Roxanne.

“Frank’s parents will go to her house for Christmas” Roxanne answered instead, a hand holding her damaged throat. She tried to look casual as she looked down at the bag, where a caution red note said **“Choking hazard. Please eat one at the time”** She moved her hand slightly to cover the warning from Lily’s sight.

“What?!” Lily almost shouted. Alice simply laughed at their reactions.

“Yeah, well, we’ve been dating for two years already. Plus, our moms insisted”

“And you’re telling us now? What happened to the bloody friend’s code that says you should tell us stuff like that immediately?” Roxanne asked, facing Alice completely.

“We have a friend’s code?” Lily asked, looking at Alice with a question mark on her face.

“When did we agree on that?” Alice asked right after.

“It comes implicit with friendship!” Roxanne protested.

“Right” Lily agreed as she turned her body towards Alice, giving her a kind of maternal smile “Are you nervous?”

“Not really” Alice answered “I mean…I’ve met his parents before”

“Yes, but your moms insisted?” the redhead asked in confusion.

“Well, my mom wrote a letter to his mom” she said trading looks with both of her friends “And at some point they decided they wanted to meet…and now they are all going to my house for Christmas”

“Maybe I shouldn’t go, Alice. I don’t want to be a burden” Roxanne said, holding the back of her neck and narrowing her eyes. God, everyone got hysterical when hosting a Christmas dinner. Alana’s stress would be a completely different level. Could Roxanne even bare to imagine putting her friend’s mom in such a situation? No, she couldn’t “I mean, we would be seven people, and it’ll be the first dinner between families and…”

“What do you mean?” Alice asked, patting her friend’s knee insistently, as a way to get her attention “My mom pretty much insisted that I should invite you”

“She did?” Roxanne felt a nice warm feeling inside her chest.

Merlin knew Alice’s parents had been uncomfortable when she went to their house for the first time. They were obviously trying to watch out for everything they said, as if they thought any of it would offend her. Well, not her. Her parents. They probably thought she was a spoiled pureblood who would go to tell mommy and daddy what she heard from a blood traitor family. Alice was a pureblood as well, but unlike Roxanne’s parents, hers had decided to stay away from all the pureblood aristocratic families and their retrograded traditions. It wasn’t until the dinner night when Alana stayed home alone with Roxanne, while Alice and her father left to buy last minute groceries, that they began to get along. Alana had bought a muggle oven to show her acceptance of them. Of course, she regretted her decision when Roxanne walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. The turkey was ready to be cooked, Alana was embarrassed because she thought Roxanne would judge her. Her first instinct had been to put the turkey in the oven as quickly as possible and then run out of the room with an excuse, but then she realized she didn’t know how to turn the oven on. Roxanne saw her stress from the table where she was sitting when she noticed Alana’s growing pale. She approached silently towards her, and grabbed her from her arms carefully, receiving the initial shock she expected.

“May I?” she had asked, while Alana, still surprised, nodded slowly and stepped away from the oven as Roxanne examined it expertly “You have to make sure it is connected to the gas cylinder first” She had thanked Merlin when she saw they had at least a cylinder gas, when most wizards’ houses didn’t and were powered by magic only. She made the connection and narrated every one of her steps as she worked, explaining them to Alana “So, the oven is ready. We should have to wait a few minutes until it’s warm, then we put the turkey in, wait some hours and it’ll be ready” She turned towards Alana smiling. As the turkey rested on the oven, they had a long chat about the use of muggle artefacts by wizards and eventually, the ridiculousness of the pureblood fight for segregation. Alana didn’t think of Roxanne as a spoiled pureblood after that.

Alice glanced out the window, her face lighting up. “We’re getting closer to school” she put Nathan into his cage as the frog looked at her with sad eyes “I know you hate this cage, Nathan. But I don’t want you to escape again” She stood up and grabbed her bag, ignoring the mocking glances that went between Lily and Roxanne. “Alice, you do realize you’re talking to a frog right?” Lily asked her laughing.

“Animals understand us; you know?” Alice told her as she checked the insides of her bag. “I’ll go change” she announced going closer to the door “How was it? Through the whirlwind what?”

“Alice, we’ve used that password for four years already. How can you still not remember it?” Lily asked.

“Because we always come together to the compartment. I don’t need to remember it because you always do” said Alice defending herself.

Roxanne laughed and pushed Lily up from her seat “Go with her, I’ll just change here to save time”

“Or we could all just get dressed here” Lily said, as if it was the most natural thing. Roxanne guessed that kind of confidence was natural in girls with sisters, but she never undressed in a room with other people. Merlin, she always waited until the dressing rooms were empty to take a shower after a Quidditch game.

“Lily, I know you want to see me naked since third year” Roxanne joked, changing the subject “But I’ve already told you that I don’t like you like that”

Lily punched her arm playing “You’re so stupid” she laughed “Fine, put the enchantment when we leave”

“Pumpkin, I would never forget that” Roxanne said honestly.

Both girls left the compartment and Roxanne placed the protective spell on the door, then grabbing her own bag. She hoped the bathrooms were not full yet, so that her friends wouldn’t have to wait in line. She took the black stockings out of her bag and put them on first.

Roxanne began to take her dress off, but stopped when she felt Nathan’s eyes on her. She grabbed her coat and put it over the cage, hearing a protest sound from the frog.

“Stop complaining, Nathan” she said, then looking at her sides, hoping no one heard her talking to the frog before remembering she was alone and laughing it off.

She quickly took her black dress off, the one her mother forced her to wear today. She looked down to find a developing bruise on her ribs, courtesy of her mother a few hours ago. Belinda had stormed into her room after the house elven told her that Roxanne didn’t want to wear the dress today. It was one of the traditional silk dresses her mother liked, it had ribbons. _Freaking ribbons._ She had dressed in jeans and a red sweater already, but with a few “motivational” words from her mother and a flick of her wand, she took them off and put the damned dress on.

Roxanne curiously touched the bruise with her index finger, feeling no flick of pain. The analgesic potion that Lucius gave her when they got to King’s Cross was still working. She probably would only feel the bruise when she was on her bed, sleeping if she was lucky.

Roxanne finished getting dressed and looked at her makeup bag reluctantly. Lucius would be at the school tonight since the Ministry of Magic sent him to Hogwarts the first and last days of every school year to make observations. She put the bag down, knowing that her brother got pissed when she wore the characteristic dark lines around her eyes. She was already in a fight with her mother, it would be dumb to get into a fight with her brother too. She put all her things inside her bag and took the coat from Nathan’s cage. He made a happy sound, but she didn’t answer this time.

She sat down and closed her eyes, thinking of what she would do once they got to Hogwarts, probably go out first and walk towards the carriages. Fabian and Nicholas would surely be waiting for her, they never left until she got on the carriage.

Suddenly, an insistent knock on the door took her out of her trance. It was followed by a series of similar knocks. Neither Lily nor Alice knocked like that, but then, the spell didn’t activate either. She went closer to the door.

“Through what?” she whispered

“Open the door, Rox” Alice grunted. Roxanne opened it immediately to find a whimpering Lily on Alice’s arms. She pushed them both inside and closed the door behind them. She noticed only Alice was wearing her uniform, Lily was still wearing her jeans, clutching her bag so much her knuckles were white. She had her head down. Alice helped her to sit down and took the bag from her hands. Roxanne kneeled and took her friend’s face between her palms, forcing her to look up. The anger tears coming out of her eyes, along with her killing expression were a contrast on her usually calmed and delicate features.

Roxanne caressed Lily’s face, trying to brush away both the tears and the pain. “Lily. What happened?” Roxanne asked, feeling Lily’s anger fill the room.

Lily clenched her teeth and looked down, not focusing on anything in particular “Severus happened”

 


	3. Dearest Lily

“Oh, by Circe, Lily” Roxanne brushed her friend’s tears and leaned over to stare directly into her eyes “You said you wouldn’t talk to him anymore. You know he’s poison” Roxanne grabbed her face to emphasize the last part. She brushed Lily’s hair from her eyes and behind her ears, then held her friend’s hands between her own, making circles on the back of them with her thumbs. Lily’s hands had turned into shaking fists. 

“I didn’t even talk to him” Lily frowned at Roxanne, tears bordering her eyes, but not falling anymore “I was ignoring him until he greeted me”

Alice sat down next to her and put one arm around her tense shoulders. Only then it occurred to Roxanne that Lily was feeling trapped by them, even if all they had were good intentions.

“Stop pitying me” Lily barked, making both girls drop their arms instantly. Lily stood up violently and paced around the small compartment, and silently, her friends agreed it was better to stay out of her way when she felt like this. It wasn’t the first time. Lily didn’t get mad easily, and when she did, it all came out in a blast of light. She suddenly stopped pacing and threw a punch to one of the compartment walls, startling her friends.

“I was his first friend” Another punch. “I was there when he needed me” She tried to throw a third punch when Roxanne hugged her from behind and grabbed her wrists. Lily fought to get free, but it was useless, Roxanne was taller and stronger than her. After fighting a little more, her anger made way to sadness, and she went limp on her friend’s arms. Alice helped her to sit down once again and held her hands, caressing her now red knuckles.

“Lily. Lily look at me” Alice tugged at Lily’s hands insistently with a serious expression “He’s not your friend. Friends don’t make you cry, friends don’t break your heart and real friends don’t leave you behind when they get the smallest chance of…whatever it is that damned people give him”.

Lily put her legs up and held her arms around them, breaking Alice’s hold, who only replaced the grip by taking Lily’s ankles, as if that would hold her friend together.

“You’re the most brilliant witch I’ve ever known. That we’ve ever known,” she glimpsed up at Roxanne, who nodded and sat next to Lily, moving one of her hands up and down her back softly. She conjured a pack of ice and gave it to Lily, who pressed it against her knuckles, looking impassive. “And now, you need more brilliance and less feelings to realize that Severus is no longer the boy you knew”

“Lily” Roxanne whispered, making the redhead pay attention to her “You need to let him go” Lily glanced at both of her friends, and then nodded. Roxanne wished with every cell in her body that this time she would listen to them. 

“I don’t understand why I can’t hate him,” she told them “Any smart person would. He’s been keeping this attitude since last year”

“You don’t need to hate him” Alice told her “You only need to ignore him and walk away if he gets close. We’ll do the hating for you”

Lily tried to laugh at the promise, but it sounded like a sob more than anything. She looked up at her friends and gave them an apologetic smile.

“I’m a mess,” she glanced away, embarrassed by her last actions.

“Thank Circe for that” Roxanne exclaimed “Otherwise we would have to expel you from this selected group”. Thankfully, Lily laughed this time and held their hands.

“Thank you girls” she told them with watery eyes. Roxanne felt her throat tightening at the love of those words, love that was so unusually directed to her.

“Alright, stop it now” Roxanne cleared her voice and looked away. She noticed Lily’s neglected bag on the parallel seats and stood up to grab it. “You need to get dressed”

“Yeah, I know” Lily took her bag from Roxanne’s hand and opened it, before stopping cold and turning around, not quite looking at her friends “Can you girls turn around?”

Roxanne laughed and leaned on the door. “You always insist on getting dressed together here. And now you’re having a sudden shy attack?”

“Believe it or not, emotional and physical exposal in one same day are too much. Even for me” Lily claimed, and even if it felt like it was too soon, Roxanne rejoiced at the fact Lily was ready to joke about what had happened.

“Sounds logical,” Roxanne shrugged, playing Lily’s game. She reached into the pocket of her tunic to retrieve more beans, only finding an empty box. “Actually, I think I’ll go buy something to eat. Come with me, Alice?”

“Sure” Alice stood up and Roxanne placed her hand on the handle when the door suddenly opened. Out of custom, she blocked the entrance with her body, as she did at home when someone knocked on her bedroom’s door. She only threw a side glance to Alice, silently scolding her for not putting the protective spell on it.

A tall boy with disheveled dark hair and glasses stood on the door. He was wearing only a part of his uniform and his tie was crooked. Everything on him seemed to give away a certain air of ease, except his eyes, which were staring at Lily intently from the moment she came into his field of view.  

“James? What are you doing here?” Lily asked surprised putting her bag down. “I’m not in the mood for your jokes. Please, go”. Roxanne made every effort not to turn around and interrogate Lily right there, since it wasn’t common that she rejected James so nicely. But then, Roxanne had only seen her reprimand James when he was around Severus, and it had been a while since that happened.

“I come in peace, Evans” he raised his hands and tried to walk into their compartment, but Roxanne didn’t move an inch. Only then did James seem to notice she was there, or at least, whose body was standing between him and the ginger girl.

“Roxanne?” he asked, frowning. Roxanne rolled her eyes, pretending not to be amused by the fact that, when Lily was meters away, anyone around would disappear into a second dimension for James “What are you doing here?”. He wasn’t attacking her, she knew that much. Although she had never spoken to James besides of taunting before a Quidditch match and occasional Transformations class questions, she knew he didn’t buy her she-wolf act. Somehow, he seemed to like her, but obviously not in the way he liked Lily. Perhaps empathize was a better word, which turned out to be almost a miracle, since the rest of his team seemed to hate her. However, she would always keep her guard up in front of him, and this time wouldn’t be any different.

“Hello to you too, Potter. Believe it or not, this train is the only way to arrive to school. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t notice. After all, how long has it been? Six years?” She could almost feel Lily’s confusion. She knew Roxanne didn’t hate James and couldn’t understand why was she being rude. She didn’t think of James as the sort of wizard who would go to gossip with her father, but she couldn’t trust anyone whose blood was as pure as her family’s.

“I mean what are you doing in this compartment?” James sounded exasperated, Roxanne thought that maybe sarcasm wasn’t the right answer now. She shrugged in a seemingly careless movement, when really she was used to calculate every single one of her muscles.

“I came to borrow her Transformations notes, mine got lost. But when did I become the center of this conversation?” she asked with a coy smile, turning her head to look at Alice. She raised arms pretending ignorance, following Roxanne’s game. “I thought you said you wanted to talk to…Evans” Calling Lily by her name would only get her out of character right now, she knew she sounded more serious when she called people by their last names. James stopped looking at her and gazed back at Lily, who put her hands on her hips, waiting for him to speak up. She was getting her attitude back. Good.

“I saw what happened out there with Sniv- with Snape,” he corrected himself. “I wanted to check out if you were okay”

Lily raised her shoulders and crossed her arms “I appreciate the concern, James” Roxanne looked at Alice over her shoulder once again and they shared hardly subtle silent conversation, Roxanne raising her eyebrows and Alice biting her lip. There was something different about the way she called his name, as if she savored it when it came out of her lips. “But I can fight my own battles, especially because whenever you try to defend me, Severus reaches the border of suicide”

“I’m here to check if you’re fine, not to plot my revenge against your friend”

“He’s not my friend” Lily blurted out. James raised his eyebrows as a blissful grin grew on his face

“Good for you, Evans”

“Still, that doesn’t mean you can go now and bully him. That’s distasteful and shameless,” the second she said it, James’ innocent smile disappeared and it was immediately replaced by leering one.

“Oh, well then. However, does that mean I can ask you out now?”

Lily put her fingers over her temples and closed her eyes “No, James, you can’t. What you can do is go away, I need to get dressed”

He smirked and crossed his arms, a playful spark glowing on his eyes “Oh, really?”

Lily sighed and pointed to the door with her hand “Oh, could someone, please-?”

“My pleasure,” Roxanne slammed the door .“See you later, Potter,” she said to him and locked the door. A second passed before they found themselves laughing to tears.

“He’s insufferable,” Lily half complained and laughed, covering her eyes with her palms. 

Alice stood up and disheveled her hair, putting her fingers around her eyes as if they were glasses and spoke in a low voice “Looking hot in there, Evans. Want to see me playing Qudditch? If you’re lucky, I can show you my broom” Lily fell to her seat and laughed, grabbing her stomach.

Roxanne stood up and copied Alice’s act “Hello, Lily Flower. If you want to make some magic together, my wand is always ready” Lily raised her knees to her forehead and grabbed her belly with both arms, her laughter becoming more intense.

“Sto-stop it, girls. You’re killing me” Her friend’s fell to the seats opposite to Lily and laughed as well. Alice was the first one to calm down. 

“But seriously, Lily. Why won’t you date him? It’s obvious that you like him” Alice insisted like this since fifth grade, but Lily was always reluctant to the idea. 

“Is complicated” Lily cleaned the tears on her cheeks that fell for laughing so much. “I mean, he’s a nice guy, but you can see that he’s trouble from miles away”

“Point for Lily” Roxanne said pointing slightly at her friend “That grin when you told him about Severus? He was probably already plotting a revenge plan”

“I actually can’t believe he won’t do anything after he heard what Severus said” Alice mentioned in disbelief. “You must have a serious control over him. The kind that could stop him from being a troublemaker” There she was again, always defending James. However, Roxanne didn’t linger in that thought for long, as she only then realized she didn’t exactly know what had happened with Severus. Lily had to let him go, but that didn’t mean Roxanne had to.

“Why? What did Severus say?” She asked, her friends getting uncomfortable all of the sudden.

“I don’t really want to repeat it” Alice said, scratching the back of her neck.

“Yeah, me neither” Lily crooked her neck and grimaced.

Roxanne knew it would be bad, but not this bad. She would have to ask someone else who had seen the scene. Someone like … Potter. Roxanne had to thank she was a Malfoy at that moment, as lying and making excuses basically ran in her blood and she needed and excuse to go find him.

“We’re getting close” She commented, making her friends look out the window “You really should get dressed, Lily.” She stood up and opened the door.

“Where are you going?” Lily asked her.

“I don’t fancy you enough to see you naked, Lily. Plus, I told you, I need to buy more snacks. My supply emptied somehow” This should get her enough time to act without her friends suspecting on her absence.

“Sure.  _Somehow”_ Alice said, pointing at the empty bag of beans on the seat. Roxanne pulled out her tongue at her in a childish way.

“You, shut up and you, get dressed,” she respectively pointed at Alice and Lily “We’ll reach Hogwarts in about twenty minutes”.

The moment Roxanne closed the door, she bolted down the corridor. She needed to find James now, since questioning him at school would be too suspicious. Luckily enough, she found him buying a chocolate frog from the trolley in an empty corridor, so she could always pretend she was buying beans and that this encounter was nothing but a coincidence.

“Hello again, Potter,” her pace slowed down until she reached him. James only glanced at her once, and then returned his attention to the trolley.

“Do you want anything from the trolley, my dear?” the lady asked her with a soft smile. Roxanne fought the temptation of buying a chocolate frog, forcing herself to focus on her real purpose.

“No, thank you” As the lady began to walk away with the trolley, so did James. Roxanne grabbed his arm and turned him around “Potter, I need to talk to you”

“I know you don’t want me to tell anyone you were in that compartment. Don’t worry, I won’t,” he still wasn’t looking at her, but at his chocolate frog box. Once again, he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, but the truth was that she hadn’t worried that much about it. Roxanne didn’t know if she could trust him, but she was absolutely sure he would never do something that could harm Lily. She would have to ask later how had such loyalty been achieved.

“I … thanks. But that’s not why I’m here” Roxanne muttered.

“Why are you here then?” he was absently playing with his chocolate box.

“You are … uncharacteristically moody. Something wrong?” Roxanne knew she didn’t have time to be asking questions like this, but the incredible contrast between James now and minutes ago was hard to ignore.

“Why do you care?” He looked up at her. He was clearly mad, at her? Perhaps he felt insulted when she mocked him back in the compartment. Roxanne hardly apologized, ever. Her mother even needed to use her persuasion methods if she wanted Roxanne to apologize, but somehow this felt more painful for her, maybe because she knew he had every right to be mad, and she had every obligation to apologize.

“Look, if this is about me being mean to you back there, I’m sorry, but- “

“It’s not that,” he gripped his hair into a fist. Maybe that was usual, which would explain why his hair was always such a mess. Roxanne waited for him to continue. James sighed “Lily gets trashed by freaking Snivellus and I can’t do anything about it because I promised her I wouldn’t” 

“Oh, I thought you had let it go”

“I never do, but I don’t insist about it around Lily”

A broad smile spread through Roxanne’s face. She didn’t expect them to be on the same page so naturally. This saved what she expected to be several minutes of convincing James to face Snape “I think I can help you with that”

James expression was a piece of art. He was confused, interested and even distrustful at the same time. He looked at her with his eyes half closed “How?”

“You tell me what Snape said and I take the business on my hands. I didn’t promise Lily anything”

“And why would you do that? What is Lily to you? And now you call her Lily?” James spoke quickly, as if the questions he was asking had been resting in his head for a while. Roxanne simply shrugged.

“She’s nice to me and I don’t like Snape.” She looked out the train’s window. They were getting closer every second, and she had to face Snape on the train. “Look, we’ll be in school in twenty minutes. I need to know if you’re in or not”

“Of course I’m in,” he answered defensively. Roxanne nodded satisfied.

“Great. Now James, I need you to tell me exactly what happened between Lily and Snape”. Before she faced Severus, she needed to know what he had done. A kind of reciprocity between the crime and the punishment.

“She was standing by the bathroom door when he came, I was on the other side of the corridor and I knew Lily would get mad if I intervened,” he began to articulate with his hands as he told her the story. She looked at his now empty chocolate box, but he didn’t seem to care about the whereabouts of his snack. “She was initially ignoring him, but then he greeted her and she did the same. Suddenly his entire gang was there. Snape snapped at Lily, calling her mudblood and what not,” he turned his hands into fists.  _“_ When I began to walk towards them, Alice cameout of the bathroom and put her arms around Lily, and took her away. I guess they don’t mess with purebloods now”

That was awful, of course. But Severus had called Lily a mudblood several times, Roxanne didn’t understand why were her friends too shocked to tell her this. Besides, this details were too poor to work with them.

“Yes, but do you remember what were his exact words?” She was like that when it came to revenge, she needed to leave her mark in a subtle way. In second grade, a boy from Ravenclaw had called her a ghost, so she made a deal with the Bloody Baron to hunt him down for a week. Then, in third grade, a girl insulted her brother in front of her, calling him a  _boneless ministry puppet_ , so Roxanne enchanted several puppets to scare the girl when she was sleeping and occasionally made them run after her. Roxanne only saw her actions as fair, and besides, she was good at it. Until now, no one had accused her of anything, and the people upon which she took revenge were probably too scared to speak up.  

“Besides calling her a mudblood?” James asked, forking his fingers through his hair again “Why do you need to know?”

“I just do,” she waved one hand, pretending to rest importance from it.

“He said that once You-Know-Who ruled the Wizard World, he would burn down every mudblood to the ground” James squinted wrinkled his nose in disgust “I bet Snivellus is already a death eater”

A cold thrill went through Roxanne’s body “What?” She mumbled.

“A death eater. They are You-Know-Who’s followers”

“I know who they are,” she was extremely familiar with them, too familiar to her liking. So Severus had become one of them. It wasn’t a surprise considering his lack of character and ambition for power. He had been bullying Lily for a while now, but a dark mark on his arm changed the situation entirely. And Roxanne was going to explain him the new rules now. She held her hands together and placed them under her chin, thinking. Suddenly, a dark smile accompanied her thoughts and she knew exactly what needed to be done.

“Do you by any chance have a lighter?” She asked James. Roxanne expected him to be scared of her new attitude, or at least feel uneasy. Instead, he seemed to follow her line of thought and mirrored her smile.

“No, but I know someone who does” He turned around and started walking, expecting her to follow. Roxanne jogged to walk next to him, cleaning the last details of her plan.

_Oh, this will be good_ , she thought. She wondering if laughing would make her look crazy right now. Probably. She kept her laughter to herself and kept walking.


	4. The Backstabber

            Roxanne and James walked down the empty corridors rapidly, she explained her plan to him while he occasionally nodded or asked her quick questions.

“Then, when we part, I need you to make sure Severus goes to the bathroom after five exact minutes. It has to be the bathroom where Lily was waiting, but we should be able to hide if something goes wrong. A close compartment is our best choice,” she moved her hands to emphasize every point she made and spoke quickly, all at once. James, to his favor, wasn’t confused by it, if anything, he seemed thrilled.

“Right. What if there are students in that compartment?” he asked before she continued her explanation.

“I can deal with them if you have moral issues about it,” she said nonchalantly. When James stopped walking to look at her curiously, Roxanne simply laughed and pulled his arm to keep him moving. “I should mention I’m not planning to kill anyone”

“I know that,” he rolled his eyes. “But since you’ve got no _moral issues,_ I’m worried you’re trying to kill Snape. And I _kind of_ draw a line there”. Roxanne highlighted the _kind of_ part, biting her cheek to keep herself from smiling.

“I’m not a murderer,” she said simply, looking ahead and shaking her head.

“Anyway, I could propose something better than a closed compartment to hide”

“And what would that be?” she asked, raising one brow, never taking her eyes from the corridor, especially as she distinguished two distant figures sitting outside a compartment. Roxanne accelerated her pace when they came closer to the two students, leaving James behind, not really looking at them and ready to ignore them. Being seen with James would be unusual, but not necessarily dangerous. If her parents somehow found out she had been with him, they would probably be thrilled. Nothing excited them more than ancient pureblood last names in the same sentence as her name. If they only knew James went in a completely different direction when it came to girls, one girl in particular.

Roxanne was barely ahead of the sitting students when she felt James’ grip on her shoulder and turned around, just to see him facing the two boys. One of them, a chubby one, kept fidgeting nervously with his head down, while the thin figure beside him sat in a mild and blithe way. She could tell he tried to hide it, but when that chubby boy saw James, there was obvious admiration shining in his eyes. He reminded Roxanne of a little boy waiting for an autograph from his favorite Quidditch player, which seemed like a very accurate comparison considering James was the Gryffindor team seeker.

“Guys, what the hell? Where is Sirius?” James asked, his eyebrows rising. The thin boy eyed the compartment door with a defeated smile, then dragging his eyes ever so slowly to Roxanne. She smacked herself mentally for not noticing they were James’ gang, and for thinking James wouldn’t include them into this. She wouldn’t mind, since she had only ever seen these boys from distance and never exchanged a word with them, if it wasn’t for that missing member, the leach that was now a door from her.

In perfect timing, a gasp came from inside the compartment in front of them and understanding dawned on James and Roxanne’s faces. James laughed and grabbed his hair, the new situation being clearly amusing to him.

“Padfoot, you dog,” he murmured, making the other two boys laugh, but not Roxanne. She looked down and shook her head in disapproval, quickly replacing her embarrassment with disappointment and, in what she thought would be a smooth leaning, she threw her body against the door. It wasn’t difficult for her companions to notice her frustration, as their laughter became softer until it came to an end. The boys were now standing and alternating glances between her and James, certainly wanting to ask many questions.

“Hey, don’t worry, we only need the lighter,” James tried to calm her down. He knocked on the thick glass door twice “Sirius, open up”

“ _Bite me,_ ” was the reply from inside the compartment, followed by a feminine giggle and a sudden silence that got Roxanne even more pissed. Of all people, of course Sirius Black had the lighter she needed. Saying she didn’t like him was a euphemism. He represented everything she hated, popularity and arrogance under an ancient last name, and that was before he had…No. She couldn’t afford think about it now.

“Padfoot, come on. I only need to get one thing out,” James kept insisting, his face glued to the door. This time, Black didn’t even bother to reply.

Roxanne let out a loud sigh and poked James’ shoulder with her index finger to get his attention.

“Stop it, James, we don’t have time for this,” she rested both hands on her hips. “Merlin, we don’t have time for anything now,” she glanced down at her watch, then to James and down again. “Sorry I wasted your time,” she muttered frustrated, rubbing her eyelids with one hand and ignoring the questioning glances the other two boys were throwing at her.

Roxanne felt like crying and punching something, all at once. No, not something. She felt like punching Sirius Black. This plan meant more than just a simple revenge. It meant standing up for her beliefs, for her hatred against death eaters, for her wish to protect her friends from anything. But she also had to admit this was her fault, for letting her emotions step over her rationality. How did she expect to pull out a plan she had just made? Her plans were always elaborated with time and details; she would go through them with a cold head when they were about her. But this one was about Lily, the girl who was crying in the bathroom when they met for the first time, the clever girl who helped her through her classes and introduced her to Alice. The very reason why Roxanne wasn’t like her family.

She knew she could still prank Snape at school, but what had happened in the train with Lily would remain unresolved, for her at least. Roxanne knew she wasn’t a wonderful friend; she hid her relationship with the Gryffindors as if she was ashamed. Somehow, this revenge felt like one of the very few things she could do for her friends. She tried to shrug it off, but the lump in her throat wouldn’t go away, even as she headed towards her compartment, thinking of the excuses she would give to the girls for her delay, when James stood in front of her.

Roxanne looked up and noticed a determination in his eyes that she only noticed when he was chasing a Snitch. He rose a hand silently to stop her and knocked the compartment’s door.

“Hey, Padfoot. Some Marissa girl is looking for your, says she wants to repeat last night,” he turned around and gave his perplexed audience of three a wink. “The blonde one, remember?” he included loudly, making Roxanne open her mouth in surprise. A grunt followed by a loud slap came from inside the compartment and James stepped aside, clearly pleased with himself, while Roxanne exchanged looks with the wide eyed boys for the first time, none of them really sure of what had just happened.

An intense monologue followed until the shadow of a hand was placed on the handle from the inside. Before Roxanne could react, she was pulled to the opposite side of the corridor. The thin boy placed his arm over her shoulders and moved hers around his own waist kindly, but firm, as if preventing any attempts to escape. Roxanne fought him with her free hand, in a stage of confusion and embarrassment for having someone invading her personal space, especially someone she didn’t know, but the boy remained unaffected. She considered changing the destination of the punches from his chest to his face when the door opened. A dark skinned girl came out of the compartment with fire in her eyes. Realization hit Roxanne in the gut and immobilized her, her fist held in midair in front of the boy’s chest.

Caroline Milton was a Gryffindor, and even someone as socially uninterested as Roxanne knew who she was. Not only the Quidditch team captain and beauty, but also the most intense person Hogwarts had ever seen. Violent, beautiful, smart and unpredictable, she was a true challenge. Roxanne moved her vision for the fraction of a second towards the compartment, where James had stepped in and was now a blur of movement and inaudable whispers. Roxanne dragged her eyes back at the girl standing in front of her, and she had to admit Caroline was scary. Maybe it was her tall height, that wild dark hair, those heavy eyebrows or the fact that she was giving Roxanne a murderous look. _The blonde one, remember?_ James had said. The flash of a memory of one Caroline’s tantrums in fourth grade crossed her mind, when she sent a girl to the hospital wing with a busted lip and a broken nose for talking to her boyfriend at the time.  

Caroline examined Roxanne from head to toe, and resting her weight in one leg, she smirked with superiority. Scary or not, Roxanne’s blood boiled at the girl’s arrogance and, with the familiarity of the smell of conflict, she lowered her fist and took the same posture, taking her time to examine the witch. The thin boy stiffened next to her, as she guessed the rest of them did, since she wouldn’t take her eyes from Caroline. The whispers from the compartment ceased at some point.

“You’re no Marissa,” Caroline smiled through every word, but there was no kindness in her. Roxanne refused to feel intimidated by it, and ever so slowly, she tilted her head and looked down at Caroline, even if she was a few centimeters shorter.

“No, I’m not,” the smile that crept through her face was everything she wanted, as it should. For a while, it had been the only smile she knew how to draw, the one that earned her a reputation she didn’t wish to lose.

“You’re a Malfoy,” Caroline seemed to taste every word of her family name. Her face lightened up with realization as she took the entire picture of Roxanne and the boy next to her. “And you’re quite…familiar with a Gryffindor. A muggleborn Gryffindor”. Roxanne felt her throat close at Caroline’s expression and her words. _Hanging out with a Gryffindor? Your mother wouldn’t like that, would she, Roxie?_ She couldn’t know about Lily…could she? No, Roxanne had been extremely careful about it. Unless she wasn’t talking about Lily. The presence of the boy holding her suddenly became extremely evident to her.

“I’m not familiar with the archaic customs of _your_ people,” she was saying. “But isn’t _this_ considered beneath you?” at the word, Caroline pointed at Roxanne’s general direction and drew circles in the air. Roxanne noticed the changing posture of the boy next to her. His grip wasn’t firm anymore, and a certain tiredness took place around him, she could swear he had shortened a few centimeters. The same couldn’t be said about his housemates. Through her peripheral vision, she saw the chubby boy’s face lit in fire, his eyes seemed to be about to fall off at the addressing of his friend’s status as a low one. Caroline took most of Roxanne’s vision, but she could bet James expression was the same one. Roxanne smirked with the weight of thousands of intellect battles on her back and stared at Caroline’s swollen red lips and disheveled hair, dragging her eyes over her neck and the red mark that would be a bruise the next day.

“Oh, but honey,” she gripped the boy next to her strongly, almost making him jump “He is not the only one _beneath_ a pureblood, is he? Funny, I thought your aimed higher than that, but I guess whores make great couples with each other these days”

Everything happened so fast, Roxanne couldn’t quite expect what followed, only that Caroline launched towards her only to find the thin boy’s body standing between them. How did that boy manage to move her around so easily, she didn’t know, but she wished he hadn’t. She hated when other made her seem weak. Roxanne moved quickly to his side, very aware of Caroline’s next movement.

“That’s enough, Caroline,” his voice, like his grip, was firm, but patient. “I don’t want to start this year taking points from my house” That was funny, Roxanne thought, and couldn’t possibly be truth. How could a member of James’ gang have any important academic position? However, she hoped Caroline would believe it.

“You wouldn’t,” Caroline went back to her murderous stance, and Roxanne was thankful it wasn’t directed to her this time.

“Try. Me”

Two heartbeats passed before Caroline rolled her eyes and stormed away, mumbling colorful insults about Gryffindor boys and presumably, the Slytherin girl.

As soon as it was only the four of them again, the thin boy let go of Roxanne with a kind smile on his face and took a step back, no trace of the wildness she had just seen. Roxanne didn’t move an inch.

“Sorry for that. She’s known for fighting other girls,” he said to Roxanne. She met his eyes, deciding whether she should be angry or thankful.  

“Don’t expect any gratitude from her,” said someone she recognized all too well from the compartment. “She hates it when others try to protect her. Isn’t that right, Roxie?”

Sirius Black had changed since last year. His hair was longer and his beard was starting to grow as well, but that mischievous look would never leave his face. His eyes went over his two friends, eventually posing on her. The grey eyes she hated were drowned in mock and accompanied by a devilish smirk.

“Sirius Black,” she looked at him the same way people looked at snails. “I thought you would have the decency of freeing us from your revolting presence this year”

“And yet you came to see me, Roxie,” she almost growled at the mention of her childhood nickname. Sirius glanced towards the direction where Caroline had disappeared and returned his notice to Roxanne slowly. “I have to say, there are better ways to get my attention”

Before she could reply in a way that would make even her brother blush, James brought his head out of the compartment.

“What the hell are you doing? Get in before someone comes.” The chubby boy entered quickly behind James, while Sirius took one good look at Roxanne before smirking and going inside as well. Her blood was boiling already, and she knew that it wouldn’t get better if she followed them. The thin boy placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and, with a courteous smile, invited her in.

In any other circumstances, she knew that kind of attitude would have calmed her down easily. But not this time, not when Sirius Black was no more than a meter away from her. She came into the compartment and sat down roughly while the boy closed the door and sat next to her. She thought she could let her cynics ride her mind for a while.

“What is it, James?” Roxanne asked, crossing her legs and arms. James looked around the compartment until his eyes fixated on an object above the seats opposite to her.

“Your call him James now?” asked Sirius, looking at her first and then at James, talking again without giving her a chance to reply. He couldn’t be more vexing “What is she doing here, Prongs?”

His voice, his presence, everything about him suddenly overwhelmed her, and painful memories entered her mind.

_Roxanne Malfoy, you are needed at the Headmaster’s office…_

_You won’t be needing your belongings, mistress. You will be back right away._

“No time to explain” James said, bringing her back from that dark spot she carefully tried to never touch. James’ his eyes scanned the room until they finally posed on an object on a rack above the seats. He stretched up to grab it, pushing a complaining Sirius out of the way. Roxanne tried to hide her satisfaction at that. When James went down, he was holding his broomstick. It was a beautiful Cleansweep Eleven that made Roxanne want to drool when she saw it. She bought her own Comet 290 in her third year for the Quidditch tryouts in secret, as she didn’t think her parents would approve. Her Comet was efficient and she was used to it, but there were times when she dreamed her parents would buy her a faster model, money not being an obstacle for them. But of course, that would never happen, and she couldn’t be buying a broomstick whenever she wanted to, as retrieving amounts of money from Gringotts would eventually seem suspicious. Also, using the money her father had obtained from his shady business always left a rotten sensation in her soul.

“Gentlemen, we need to stop this train,” James claimed, bringing Roxanne back from her daydreaming once again and drawing her attention from the broomstick to the boy.

“Oh, yes,” whispered the chubby boy, who was sitting in front of her. Roxanne had almost forgotten he was there, and felt guilty about it. The boy had seemed smaller than he was, for his posture and the way he clutched his hands, including the fact that his eyes shined childishly when he watched his friends.

“Oh, Lord,” the boy next to her massaged the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes “The year hasn’t even started and you already want to make a prank?”

“This is not a prank. This is bigger than that. Snivellus…” James looked at Roxanne, who stared at him and shook her head slightly “Snivellus did something. Something stupid,” she nodded in the same way, encouraging him to continue, getting an idea of where was he going with this “And Roxanne over here has a plan to make him pay.”

She felt all faces turn towards her, but she kept her eyes on James and his broomstick, already adjusting her plan to the new situation.

“Yeah, well, _Roxanne_ over here just ruined a perfectly good snogging,” Sirius said, looking at her from the opposite seat, next to the window frame.

“Oh, Roxanne over here thinks you’ll recover soon enough,” she replied, squinting her eyes. Black was a machine when it came to girls. She hardly ever saw him with the same one for two weeks in a row.

“Why? Planning on compensating me any time soon?”

“Shut your mouth, bastard”

“Do you know each other?” intervened the thin boy.

“Of course, we were besties. Right, Roxie?” Sirius winked at her with a kind of nerve she never thought would be possible.

“Until one of us became a back-stabbing little bitch,” she copied his attitude and winked as well, baffling him shortly.

“What?”

“Anyway,” the thin boy raised his hands as if that would push the subject away. “I’m not taking a part in this. I’m a Prefect, for God’s sake”

“You really are?” Roxanne raised her eyebrows, but shook her head. “Look, this plan only needs two people besides me.” Roxanne told him, and then shifted her explanation to the rest of them “One who stops the train and one who gets Snape’s attention. This is a muggle steam locomotive, but the guard is a wizard. If James flies in front of the train, he can assure an emergency stop. It would take the guard ten minutes to fire up the train with magic,” she looked up at James, his eyes like excited flames “James, in how long can you get to the front of the train?”

“In this baby?” he asked looking at his broom proudly, waking a tiny bit of jealousy in Roxanne’s chest. “Less than a minute”

“Great. Go now and come back when you’re finished,” she stood up and opened the window for him. The blast of air that came in made everyone squint their eyes.

“Blessed glasses,” laughed James as he stood over the window frame. “See you on the other side.” And just like that, he was gone.


	5. Echoes from the past

            As soon as James jumped out of the window, Roxanne turned towards the thin boy with the warmest, most persuasive smile she could come out with.

“So, will you help?” she asked with an innocent voice that had nothing to do with her future actions.

“I’m sorry, Roxanne,” he answered, his lips twitching in slight discomfort. Roxanne’s smile fell as he joined his hands in a way that reminded her of a neutral pose her father would take to prevent a tantrum. Roxanne wondered how many times had this boy used that gesture with his little group of friends and if it ever worked. Judging by her own response to it, she guessed it didn’t.

“Why?” she demanded, dragging the last letter longer than necessary

“Prefects can’t go around playing tricks on other students”

“You really are a Gryffindor Prefect? I thought it was a joke,” she asked in disbelief, wondering how could a Prefect be friends with Sirius and James. She had never heard Lily talk about this boy, or heard of him at all. But then, she hardly ever cared enough to know which were her own house prefects unless she had to.

“Where is your badge, then?”

As a response, Remus took the coat lying next to him and unfolded it enough for Roxanne to see the red badge with a capital golden “P” on the center.

“Now that you know that,” he kept the coat on his lap, laying back on his seat with ease “You will realize I can’t do what you’re asking”

“But you don’t even know what I would ask you,” she complained, sitting next to him, placing her palm on his shoulder, trying to seem more approachable. “No one would ever know that you were involved”

“Except for us, of course,” Sirius added, raising one eyebrow.

“Shut up, Sirius,” Roxanne hissed at him still facing the thin boy, not even trying to breathe through his continuous attempts to bother her.

“Oh. _Sirius_?” the boy chuckled with raised eyebrows “Getting soft aren’t we?”

“I believe you have pretty much crushed that name barrier,” she basically spat at him, narrowing her eyes.

_Welcome mistress, your mother is waiting for you in the library._

“Yes, but there are other barriers I would like to…”

Sirius couldn’t finish his sentence before Roxanne went for her wand, stuck on the waist of her skirt. Before she could draw it, she felt a warning grip on her wrist. The boy was fast and strong, even though his skinny complexion implied otherwise. She fixed her eyes around Sirius’ neck, where her hands were eager to join them before she tilted her head towards the boy behind her. Except for the hint of defensiveness of his stare, he stood in the middle of the compartment with an unnervingly calmed posture.  

 “Start fighting and you get nothing,” he stated without a twitch in his serenity.

“I’m not getting anything anyway,” she dropped her grasp of the wand, waiting the boy to do the same with his grip, with no results. “Let go, boy”

Roxanne could feel the primal aggressiveness flowing through her blood, sending tension to her neck and shoulders, but she didn’t dare to move her neck to ease the discomfort until the boy let go of her. He dropped her hand with a sigh and took a step back.

“The name is Remus. And Roxanne, you seem to have good intentions, but I’m Prefect above everything else and I have to ask you to respect that”

“You shouldn’t make assumptions of people you don’t know,” she mumbled. She didn’t have good intentions. She wasn’t respectful. And she knew she didn’t deserve the way the boy, Remus, had been treating her, like a nice girl with good intentions. Roxanne moved to stand in front of the third boy, who had been silently watching until now.

“What about you?” she asked him, her arms crossed, not even trying to soften the rough tone of her voice. The boy, regardless of the display of hostility, gave her a little smile, his crooked teeth coming to the light. Some of the tension on her back softened with that smile, whether it was pity or sympathy she couldn’t tell.

“I’m Peter,” he replied somehow excited, clenching and unclenching his hands over and over again.

“And you are not going to take him anywhere,” Roxanne turned incredulous towards Remus.

“Who are you to decide for him, Prefect?”

“I can go,” the boy argued. “I’ve been in just as many pranks as you two and…I’ve been practicing over summer”

“Then can you look at me in the eye and tell me there won’t be accidents if you get scared?” Sirius’ tone was almost maternal. Roxanne looked away to hide her surprise from them.

“I got nervous, not _scared_ only one time”

“And how did that end up?” Sirius bit every word, filling the room with tension once again.

“Merlin, I thought my roommates were dramatic,” Roxanne sighed. “Look, I wouldn’t be trying to convince you if this was something I could do myself. We are people from different houses, we think differently and under no circumstances would we have shared a word if I hadn’t asked James for a favor. The only thing we have in common is Snape. You seem to love bothering him and I don’t like him, so can we start acting like this is a win-win situation?”

Slowly, she turned towards Sirius, now standing next to Remus. Roxanne would have definitely preferred the situation not to come to this. Sirius Black was what anyone with common sense would call a trouble maker. He would always be found drinking, smoking, and fighting, sometimes separately, sometimes all at once. The troublemaker who, for some reason, never got in real trouble, at least nothing beyond a detention.

“Sirius?” she asked him raising a brow.

“Turning to me as your last choice? I have to say, not very mannered to be a Malfoy”

_Step into the light, Roxanne, what kind of daughter makes her mother take the first step?_

“So you are refusing as well,” she meant to ask, but it came out as an affirmation, and she didn’t care enough for his thoughts to correct herself. It wasn’t like he cared to use a filter when he spoke to her anyways.

“Oh, no,” he replied with a big smile, obviously satisfied with giving an unexpected answer. Roxanne made the greatest of efforts to kept her eyes from rolling. “When it comes to Snivellus I’m always in. I’m just used to be the first choice, if you know what I mean.” This time she couldn’t keep her eyes from rolling, so hard her head ached afterwards.

“So, what do you want me to do?” he asked, sitting down and spreading his legs in comfort. Roxanne counted to ten once. And once again. She decided to make it a hundred. She couldn’t snap at Sirius without having Remus to deal with, but he would surely understand if she was simply putting his friend’s shameless flirting on line.

“First of all, quit the purring,” she said, stopping his coquetry with a hand gesture. As his smirk grew, she decided talking would distract her enough from the desire to claw his eyes out. “Basically, I need someone to take Snape from his compartment to the bathroom”

“Why? What’s in the bathroom?” asked Sirius curiously.

“That’s my business.” If Sirius gave her the chance to bother him, she would take it without a second thought. “And the little Prefect over here wouldn’t like to know how _nice_ I can be,” Remus sat down opposite to Sirius, looking at Roxanne strangely. He seemed to be looking at her with…pity. She hated that look, especially after seeing it too many times in the eyes of her brother. Remus had no right to look at her like that. She turned her back on him to face Sirius entirely, still deciding which direction was worst to look at.

“So, are you in?”

“Only if I get complete freedom on my way of taking Snape to the bathroom.” How could that be important? For all she cared, he could punch Snape in the face to get him out of the compartment as long as he was successful.

“Perfect. Anything else?” she regretted her question the second it came out of her mouth.

“One more thing. I want to see the what’s in the bathroom,” he said with the shinning eyes of a toddler.  

“Impossible, Sirius,” she said his name as if it was a curse. “I’ll be setting it up while you take Snape there. You can’t see it unless you’re in the bathroom with him”

“And once he gets there, are you planning to stand casually outside the door?” Sirius asked with a slightly raised brow and a clearly mocking voice.

“No, I’m getting inside a nearby compartment,” she hated the way he implied she was stupid enough to stand there. For a moment, Sirius looked confused, as if he didn’t know if she was joking or not. She had never rolled her eyes so many times in a day. “Do I look like I can make myself invisible? I can’t set everything up and then let him see me without suspecting I was involved”  

“But if you could, you would love to see Snape’s expression to your…surprise,” Sirius stared at her attentively, waiting for the answer he knew he would get.

“Obviously,” she replied, staring at him in the same way. “But like I said, it’s impossible to be in the bathroom with him”

Sirius stood up and grabbed a black leather bag from the rack above his seat, his back facing Roxanne as he took the bag and crossed it on his shoulder. Peter gasped and clearly attempted to complain, but all it took was a wink from Sirius for him to close his slightly open mouth. She had enough visibility to notice the Potter coat of arms on one side of it.

“What is in the bag?” Roxanne asked, trying to get a glimpse of the inside. Sirius smiled and patted the object.

“The answer to your problems”

“What – you know what? I don’t care. Forget I asked,” Roxanne raised her hands to her temples and closed her eyes before speaking again “Let’s get this over with already,” she sighed, turning towards the door.

As she twirled, the train came to a sudden stop, sending all three of them flying towards Peter’s seat. James had been successful. While Remus landed on the floor and Roxanne fell over Peter, Sirius landed in a sitting position with nothing more than a shocked expression. Peter’s face acquired a dangerous shade of red at her new proximity.

“Sorry, Peter,” she distanced herself from him and passed her hands over her clothes to adjust them, listening to his nonsensical mumbling. Adjusting her skirt, she noticed a small shining object on the floor, which probably fell when the train stopped. She crouched to grab the lighter when Sirius stood up and moved quickly to grab it, almost snatching it from her hand and put it back into his pocket.

“Nice lighter,” she commented with no apparent interest, the new details of her plan finally closing in her head.

“We should run if we want to get there on time,” he snapped before walking towards the door. Roxanne cursed in her head, he was attached to the lightning and probably wouldn’t let her borrow it.

Sirius already had the door open and stepping aside, an invitation for her to come out. She didn’t think twice before coming out, but stopped at the sound of Remus clearing his throat behind her.

“See you around, Roxanne Malfoy,” Remus said with a calm voice. When she looked back at him, there were no traces of the compassion she had averted, only sweet emptiness.

“Yeah, let’s hope not,” she puckered before closing the door.

Once the door was firmly closed, she became fully aware of the fact she would be alone with Sirius for the first time in years. It was completely different now, of course, but the memories of a crowded ballroom and the open terrace hit her so strongly, she had to shake her head to remind herself of her surroundings. But that didn’t make her feel better. If anything, it made the disdain that hardly ever left her hit ever harder, and she knew one look at Sirius would make it all explode.  

 “This way,” Roxanne started walking, not waiting for Sirius to follow her, but when he did, he did it in silence, beautiful silence she appreciated more than ever. Roxanne counted down the numbers of compartments as they passed by them.

“How do you know where Snape’s compartment is?” Sirius asked her, already walking by her side and not behind her, as she had preferred. She accelerated her pace, hoping they reached the compartment soon.

“He never changes it,” her voice sounded bored. She knew it wasn’t about sentimentalism when it came to picking a compartment. It was about authority, showing to others where their territory was. That was something Snape, herself, and probably all Slytherins had in common.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Sirius complained.

“Hush, we’re here,” she whispered, stopping with a stretched hand for him to do the same.  She heard voices inside and leaned in to hear them more clearly, careful to not make a shadow on the crystal door.

“ _We will burn every mudblood to the ground._ Snape you are a genius” said a low boy’s voice.

“If Amycus Carrow is here, Alecto can’t be far,” Sirius whispered almost unnoticeably, yet Roxanne scowled him silently to keep quiet. As if he had summoned it, a feminine voice made its way from the compartment.

“If Evans is stupid enough to believe she can hide from Him, she’s even more stupid than I thought,” Roxanne flinched at the mention of her friend, her hand turning into a fist. How could this uneducated cockroach even dare to call Lily stupid? Then it hit her. She remembered what James had told her. Naturally, if Snape had turned into a Deatheater, the Carrows would have as well. She swore to herself she would never let Lily unwatched for the rest of the school year, even longer.

“You already said stupid” replied a flat voice that came automatically accompanied by the image of greasy hair and a large nose in Roxanne’s mind.

“I’m emphasizing her stupidness” replied the feminine voice with authority.

“You mean stupidity,” Snape kept correcting, a hint of exasperation sliding from the otherwise emotionless tone of his voice.

“Is the same bloody thing,” she complained irritatingly loud. Alecto Carrow had the ability of waking up an unnatural urge to kill in Roxanne.

The three of them kept talking as she turned around slowly, feeling her brain cells dying by simply hearing Alecto. She felt Sirius stiffening when she bumped on his chest. They were so close together his breathing hit her lashes. Roxanne felt a small knot on her throat and attributed it to the nauseating closeness to Sirius. She placed both hands on his chest and pushed him slightly but strongly. Roxanne made signs with her hands, trying to communicate with Sirius without talking until his questioning expression made her realize he didn’t understand a thing she had tried to say.

She was tall among other girls, but had to stand on her tiptoes in order to whisper in Sirius’ ear. In his natural obliviousness, he moved backwards defensively, as he should have the first time when she grabbed his shirt in fists to keep him in place, bringing her mouth closer to his ear. The closeness did nothing but bring more memories, and she had to close her eyes and calm down before the urge of cursing him took control of her mother.

_Mother…please…please don’t do this…_

“Give me five minutes to get everything ready in the bathroom. Then you can send him there,” she whispered emphasizing every word and let go of him before turning around and running down the corridor. Sirius stood where she left him, too shocked to notice how Roxanne’s hand was holding an object that hadn’t been there before and that the pocket of his trousers was now empty.

Roxanne gripped the lighter tighter as she got closer to the bathroom, almost jumping when the driver’s voice filled the train.

_“TO ALL THE STUDENTS, THE TRAIN HAD AN EMERGENCY STOP. PLEASE REMAIN SEATED IN YOUR RESPECTIVE COMPARTMENTS, THE TRIP WILL CONTINUE AFTER TEN MINUTES”_

Roxanne reached the bathroom and closed the door from the inside. She took a moment to appreciate the silver zippo with a beautiful lion carved on one side. She constantly wondered if Sirius’ remarks of being a Gryffindor were nothing but house pride or a way of unnerving his parents even more. Every member of the pureblood families knew Sirius was different, and while most felt repelled by him and his attitude, there were a few who envied his rebellious bravery. Roxanne among them. In a way, she was like him. She fought against her parents’ wishes many times, but it was all with insignificant actions. Under it all, she was a Slytherin, with Slytherin friends for all they knew, with lousy Muggle Studies grades attributed to her lack of interest. All of it leading to the inevitable marriage ahead of her. No family besides her own could consider her different, no pureblood would compare her to Sirius Black, except maybe for him. She shook her head to dissipate those thoughts and focus on the present.

With the lighter in one hand and her wand in the other, she took the naphtha out of the lighter and used it to draw in the air with it.

The fluid design stayed in place nicely, and even though Roxanne was very confident of her abilities, she casted a protective spell around it. The magical manipulation of fluids had been one of her first charms lessons, but she had only done so with a flammable liquid once, and regardless of what others thought, she was only trying to scare Snape, not damage him physically. Her pranks were usually directed towards the psychological than physical damage she could cause. Leaving scars was her mother’s doing, and Roxanne knew better than to leave proofs. Once she finished the design, she put the both the lighter and her wand away, holding them together with the waist of her skirt, wishing she was wearing her coat for the comfort of pockets. Remembering she would need some access to the bathroom if she wanted her second spell to work, she opened the bathroom door just in time to see Sirius Black turning around a distant corner, running towards her. Towards the bathroom, she corrected herself. His hair was disheveled and his stare frantic, but it was the lunatic smile on her face that caught her attention.

"Sirius, what..." she tried to ask when he reached out to her and pushed her back into the bathroom. Roxanne tried to ask again more insistently when Sirius reached for the inside of the bag and took from it a long garment.

“Is that…a cloak?” Roxanne asked when she got a better look at the red fabric Sirius held so proudly. She surrendered to the urge of slamming her palm against her forehead, ignoring the offended look in Sirius’ eyes when she raised her head. “You are not actually suggesting we hide under a bloody…”

Sirius interrupted her placing the heavy cloak around them and holding her body against his and hitting his back against the wall. He didn’t notice the levitating naphtha a meter away from him, making Roxanne congratulate herself for the idea of a protective spell that also made the oily substance invisible and repellant. Her satisfaction didn’t last long when she became fully aware of Sirius’ arm around her waist.

She hissed in between her teeth, picking the arm that held her in place with her nails.

“Let me go, you disgusting…”

Sirius let out a low curse as he covered her mouth with one hand and grabbed her wrists with the other. When Roxanne’s struggling became more persistent, he held her ankles as well, putting one of his legs around them like a snake and moved her neck slightly in a way it would be dangerous for her to move her body.

“Be quiet, they’re coming” Sirius whispered forcefully, earning a bite from Roxanne that kept his hand away from her mouth long enough for her to speak.

“Do. Not. Patronize. Me,” she whispered ever so slowly, turning every word into a promise of pain. Both of them stiffed when they heard steps from the corridor.

“Bloody insect,” said Alecto in her unmistakable, loud tone “Where did he go?”

“The corridor ends here,” replied her brother, a knight of obviousness.

“It’s fine. Black can’t hide for the entire school year,” said Snape, the coldness of his voice piercing into Roxanne, the nausea returning to her throat. However, his voice sounded muffled, as if he had something pressed against his nose and couldn’t breathe correctly. “You two head back, I’ll get cleaned up”

Roxanne heard the steps becoming less audible every time as the siblings walked away from them. She struggled against Sirius’ grip on her hands, not wanting to be incapacitated when Snape entered the room and saw them standing under a bloody cape. Sirius held his ground. He couldn’t actually believe a cloak would hide them, could he? No. All he wanted was to jeopardize her plan, to make her look like a fool in front of her fellow housemate. She wished she could free her hands if only to push Snape, maybe Sirius too, and then get out.

The second the pale boy entered the bathroom, she stopped breathing. She didn’t notice her nails piercing into her own skin until her palms felt numb, but still, Snape didn’t do as much as blink in her direction. It was impossible. She was standing right next to him in a bloody red cloak. It was as if they were – they were invisible. She had heard stories about cloaks of invisibility, bedtime stories of course, but never been this close to one. Her mind raced around the spells that might have been used to create the permanent illusion of emptiness, the type of fabric that had been used, even the threading pattern. Roxanne took the piece of fabric closest to her still prisoner hands and brushed it between her fingers delicately, fearing the illusion would wear off, but knowing deep inside that it wouldn’t. She could only imagine how many doors this kind of garment could open for wizards, and for a moment, she felt a pinch of jealousy towards Sirius, for somehow having access to the cloak.  

As Snape stood in front of the mirror, Sirius let go of both her hands and legs, using the former to hold the cloak in place. Roxanne didn’t dare to turn around and look at him, the image of his satisfied smirk being enough to make her want to punch him. Admitting he had been right in this would hurt more than any beating she had taken in her life. Instead, Roxanne examined the boy in front of her, still oblivious of their presence. Snape hardly ever changed, he would always wear his black hair in shoulder length and his face in a seemingly undisturbed expression, even now, that his nose and mouth were painted with the dark blood he was cleaning in the sink, the black emptiness of his eyes stayed in place. Sirius had actually punched Snape in the face. She held her now free hand against her mouth to muffle her upcoming laughter at the mental image of it.

Biting her lower lip, she grabbed her wand from the back of her waist quickly enough to avoid any of Sirius’ attempts to stop her.

Feeling his breath on the back of her neck was enough to put her feet on the ground, and suddenly the situation wasn’t amusing anymore. Every day she watched Sirius with nothing but disdain and hate for what he had done to her, and now she was being almost held by him and was stupid enough to laugh. She felt dirty, a traitor to herself, a weak little thing.  When she parted the cloak slightly and aimed her wand at her design in the other corner, she didn’t know if the anger that now led her was directed towards Sirius or Snape. That was good, she concluded, since the strength of emotion could guide the intensity of the spell, and judging by the flare of fire that came from her wand, she was feeling, even aching more than ever.

“Incendio”

The fire violently took every part of the oily design that levitated in the air, the lines she had drawn were so thin and specific, it was impossible not to recognize the burning Dark Mark, and Roxanne made every effort not to think of the shivers of her back. But Sirius had been right; she did love to see Snape’s expression when the Mark set on fire. He hit his lower back against the sink, his mouth opening and closing up indefinitely as his jaw trembled violently, his eyes fearful and his hands grasping the sink behind him. Images of him taunting Lily and insulting her when she was nothing but friendly raced through her mind, crashing any trace of guilt she had been scared of feeling. This felt right. It felt like justice.

Snape reached towards the door, almost stumbling against Roxanne, and ran out of the bathroom as his life depended on it, as he probably thought it did.

Roxanne threw the cloak away and casted an extinguishing spell, putting the fire down. Hearing Sirius’ laughter behind her, she took the lighter out and returned the levitating naphtha towards the inside of it with her wand.

_Malfoys don’t beg! Now tell me, what is her name?_

“That was insane! I mean, a Dark Mark in the air? Genius!” he kept rejoicing while he placed the cloak in the bag, gesturing now and then at the space of air where the naphtha had been moments ago. Roxanne approached the sink to moist her hands, the cold water easing the numbness of her palms. She had little half-moon shaped little marks on them already.

“I can’t wait for next time,” Sirius continued “His face was so…”

“This is yours,” Roxanne interrupted, turning around with the lighter in hand, stretching her hand towards Sirius with an expressionless face. Sirius first stayed silent, not realizing how thankful Roxanne was for the silence.

“My lighter,” he took it from her hand with a gentleness that somehow made it worse. “When did you…”

“When I leaned against you in front of his compartment,” she got out of the bathroom almost brushing his side, hoping he wouldn’t follow her, but knowing he would. Still, she clenched her teeth at the sound of footsteps behind her.

The train started once again with a softer movement, only making her stumble briefly. She would later blame the train for her absence in her compartment, but not shockingly, it was Sirius’ grip of her arm what kept her from walking. She freed her arm violently turning around, finding Sirius in a pained expression that knocked her out for a moment. However, the expression left as soon as it arrived and was replaced by his typical smirk.

_Not telling? You are really disgraceful, daughter. Defending a mudblood from your mother. You want to be a traitor? Then you deserve to be punished like a traitor._

“And here I was, thinking you had been looking for excuses to come close to me”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she spat at him with a hoarse voice. “You get into my plan with ridiculous conditions, come around with a cloak of invisibility,” she approached him, raising her voice accusingly, but Sirius didn’t back up. He stood immobile with his hands in his pockets, looking down at her as she pressed her index finger against his chest. “Rejoice at the fact that I didn’t know and flirt with me through it all, knowing there’s nothing I despise the most”

Sirius looked down, crossing his arms in a way it made Roxanne think he was ashamed. That was until he let out the most despicable chuckle she could think of.

“What on earth is so funny to you?” she exclaimed, pushing herself away from him.

“You despise that the most? Really?”

The angry gasp that came out of her was barely human.

“You know; lots of girls would fight for just a piece of the attention I gave to you today”

“Give it to them then! But stay the hell away from me,” she said, pointing out her last words as she started to walk away from him. “Anyone with a drop of shame in their system would be ashamed of even looking in my direction after what you did to me.” There it was. The resentment and despise from all those years starting to be loosed. All he had to do was acknowledging what he had done.

“Why? What did I do?”

Pretending he was innocent then, she couldn’t thing of a more despicable and coward move. Again, she turned around, ready to leave the entire conversation behind her and wait for the right moment to get her revenge from him.

“Hey, wait, don’t be…” Sirius reached for her, not knowing better than to leave her alone. She took her wand out rapidly and pointed at him with every true intention to use it.

“Don’t you follow me,” she threatened as she walked backwards, not even flinching or tearing her eyes from him “We’re not friends, Sirius, and you have to stop pretending like it is not your fault”

Thankfully, he listened to her, and Roxanne managed to reach her compartment without major interruptions. Her opportunity would come this year, and when it did, Sirius would lose that devilish smirk for good.

Convincing Alice and Lily of the reason for her absence was easier than she expected, but couldn’t quite tell if it was because they bought her story of meeting someone unexpectedly or because they noticed she didn’t want to elaborate on the subject. While they kept talking, she stayed silent, recalling the latest events. She had done the right thing, showing the boy that if someone was going to burn to the ground, it would be him. No, that wasn’t what bothered her, it was Sirius’ obliviousness to the matter that made her so angry. Funny, how an event that had almost destroyed her didn’t even ring a bell for him. She raised her eyes at Lily when she heard her calling her name.

“Rox,” Lily offered a small smile “What are you waiting for to use your camera?”

“Yeah, Rox,” Alice helped, already looking inside Roxanne’s bag “Who knows when we’ll be able to take a picture of the three of us again this year”

_I don’t know any muggle…mudblood’s, mother._

She didn’t deserve them. They saw through her pretense and made her feel better with those simple words. Regardless of the muggle expressions she used, she was not a religious person. How could she be, being a witch? However, she thought that if there was a God, or a force of nature out there, it had been too kind to give her friends like this.

Roxanne sat in the middle of them and took the camera from Alice’s hands, and as she held it in front of her, feeling her two friends squishing her on each side, all thoughts of Sirius Black disappeared from her mind.

 

 

 

 


End file.
